In sanity OR insanity?

I can sit and ponder for hours, and then I realise I am actually doing a 'Q&A' session with myself.

I will wonder, ask questions, think about them, give answers, challenge them, reaccess the answers, convince myself and then wonder if I am convinced. This laborious process can go on and on until I expire the mental capacity to go on. And then I will continue again the next day and the next day and the next day...

And I am surprise my brain haven't malfunction yet. I might juz ended up one of the greatest philosophers of modern times or the most severe nutcases someday, but I can die assured knowing that I did utilized and expedited the (de)generation of my brain cells.

Metaphorically-speaking, I am like an insanely brilliant Picasso, who is also brilliantly insane. Such undoubted gift, yet at the same time cursed by the consequential talent is contraditory of the proclaimed genius' works.

For end of the day, it might not be a stroke of brilliance but rather, an expression of insanity.