Destined(?)

Solemned.

I spent 4 hours hammering away at the piano and dazed. My fingers spoke of words which can only be heard through the melodies that I played. I am lost.

Another day passed and nothing changed. I seek solace in the indulgences that can only try to relieve myself of the emotional strains. I have not spoken much, only smoking and drinking. At this point of time, words are really redundant. Who understand myself better than me, as I search for enlightenment on things that happened. I know they happened for a reason, I am juz clueless as where am I heading next.

There's a routine everyday, plus minus some ramdoness in between. Is this what I want? I could be too comfortable residing in a cycle of expectancy or I am juz resigned to fate. Can we fight destiny? I never believe so. Things...they happen for a reason, I was told.

I am here, I could be there. Doing this, doing that. Does it mean anything? Does it mean anything to anyone? Do anybody even care? I am juz a face that can be replaced. Juz a body in a sea of many. Why should I even be different? But we are all already different. Then how do we be different? We can't be different, it's destined, remember? Destined...that's why the routine... Is this what God have for everyone?

So it's part of the routine I am doing this, part of the routine I am doing that. I live, love, die with the routine. Whose routine? HIS routine for me or the routine I choose? Predestined or destined?

Wonderful. So He gave us brains that is already programmed individually to learn accordingly. So I am part of this massive structure, this great co-existence that already have a role for me to fulfil. And we will learn to react, we will learn to move on, we will blend in with the great system...cos everything happens for a reason, remember?

Then does God allow people with the same reasons to come together? Am I the reason for someone's happenings, Or did something happen so that I can be the reason? I could be the cause or the clause. Nothing is by chance, these are his routines for us. Oh! so it's not my fault then?

Everything happens for a reason, remember?