Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Had an outburst today. A big one.

I dun even do that to my buddies or colleagues (not yet at least)...why did I shouted at my loved ones? I dun even do that to idiots.

Is it because I know they will always be there to tolerate my nonsense, for better or worse?
Is it because familiarity have breed contempt...and I have already taken them for granted?
Do I have to wait till all is too late before I finally wake up my bloodly idea?
Do I have to keep asking myself 'do I'?

My temper is legendary. I tot it was gone for good. Actually, it's all the while there...waiting...like a dormant volcano, juz waiting to spit her fury. My tolerance is definitely higher now, but still...I need to be better than this. No point apologizing when hurt is already inflicted. Not when this highly-toxic mouth of mine spewed words that cut right to the heart. I think 'sorry' is not even enough. I am MEAN when pissed. I think 'terrifying' is a better word. Where did all the logic, common sense, rationality go? What happen to the other sam?

thinking too much....thinking too much...and i am becoming Mr. Hyde.

I need to reassess myself.