Benchmarked

Some said Sam is intelligent, empathetic, sharp and sensitive.

Sam is street-wise to a certain extent but he had no impressive academic results or curriculum vitae to boot. His IQ is so-so but he prides himself on having a higher emotional quotient than norm.

Sam dun set out to hurt, harm or haress. The soul-seeking portion always ridden him with guilt. Therefore he always try to think before reacting...and he believed close ones know tat Sam is much better than trash. But the same perception can be a double-edged sword. Sam is very accountable for actions or words that are so 'un-sam', the tolerance for Sam's flaws is lower; Sam juz can't be doing what he did, can he?

An impaired judgement or a moment of folly can erase Sam's credibility, can shaken others' faith in Sam's character and suddenly...Sam is hyprocritical, deceptive or pretentious.

Sam dun need to explain to those who understands and definitely dun bother to explain to those who do not.

Sam is not justifying anything but Sam is not perfect.


So are all of you.

One lesser Chinese New Year.

As I get older, 'Chinese New Year' stopped being exciting.

The same cousins are now all parents of their own, chasing after their kids instead. Some of the elders have left. I am less agile. Some don't even turn up anymore.

The few sentimental ones are making use of any festive occassions to gather. The old ones know there's not much time left...the middle-ageds are reminiscing old times....the young adults and teenagers are there cos their parents ask them to....those adolescents juz know a lot of relatives will be there.

I love catching up with my maternal uncles, aunts and cousins. We are quite a close-knitted bunch and everytime we see each other, the house will be filled with laughter and jokes. Looking at all of them, I am really amazed by the pro-creativity of our human kind. It all started somewhere by a couple who decided to stay together and have some offsprings. Then their children have their OWn kids and on and on and on....and then there I came. I dunno how far back did the family tree stretched, but to be there with so many others who are related to me by blood is simply amazing. I guessed this is the legacy of my ancestors.

Another 2 days and it will be over. I really wonder when will we see everyone again.

Be happy while it lasts.

Re-Assessment

Dun really know what to post nowadays. Cos it seems like everytime I write something, it's depressing.

I've been struggling to write for the past few days, maybe there's too much to write...maybe I am censoring what I should write...maybe I am bothered by what my readers think of the things I write.

Along the way, I forgot why I started blogging in the first place.

When more and more people started reading my posts, I totally ignore the soul and essence of this blog. I started becoming cautious, worried, withdrawn...

Reading my post on the 29th july 08 again, I renewed my belief that this is my personal space. Read if you like, but keep your 2 cents worth.

I write for myself, not you.


'Writing doesn't come easily to me. It gets more and more difficult.' ~ Elizabeth David