Thinking of little XX.

I have this knack of always doing the wrong things at the wrong time.

1. When I am inside a crowded lift and suddenly I feel like farting.
2. Having an instant urge to shit when the nearest toilet is like miles away.
3. Getting ready to sleep and then turn on the lappie for a short surf. And ended up shacked the next working day.

Juz like now.

I came out from the shower at 1 +am, thinking maybe I shall juz have a fast glimspe of my FB. Then I tot a beer would be nice. And beer cannot go without nuts. A puff to top it all would be fantastic. Damnz I might as well blog...2 hours after that initial tot, I am still on the bloody lappie trying to finish this post, and wakie wakie is 5 hours away. Why I can't choose to blog on my 2 off days is beyond me. Maybe having a timeframe to hinder, makes me more concise in my blogging.

2 days passed like 2 hours, I didn't feel like I did lots of stuffs (basically I was catching up on sleep). But I did meet up with my 2 cuzzies and my sweet, beautiful niece, XX. Somehow, I 'fell in love' with XX the 1st time I met her and how I wish I have a lit gal of my own juz like her. Something in her eyes tell me that she is lonely...and as an only kid, it can only be more daunting to her situation. I did abit of catch up with XW and was saddened by her current plight. But much as I empathetize with XW, i worry more for XX. Kids are always the most innocent parties in disputes between parents. I went home thinking whether I can play a little part in XX's upbringing, and give her my care and concern as an uncle figure.  SIgh... My heart really goes out to little XX.

I have seen and heard too many unhappy marriages ending in divorces. What can happen along the way and diminish the love which binded initiatly, is unpredictable. No one wants to make a wrong choice and everyone hopes to be happy ever after. I am the result of the failed marriage of my parents and I grew up pining for a complete family. I am angry but I can't blame either of them, so I live with it. But I was sore, i was jealous of others and I still bear the hurt till now. And I am definitely fearful and skeptical of going into a marriage myself. I dun wish my kids to go thru what I had been thru.

From what i see, XW is a loving mum, and I am confident XX will be much blessed with her doting granddad and 2 sweet aunts caring for her. I jotted down XX's b'day and asked for her mobile number yesterday...I hope she is not too disturbed by my attention. I can't explain the affinity I feel towards XX, but if I can bring some happiness to her and see her grow into a fine, young lady someday, I would be so, so pleased.