Tying the (dead) knot?

I cringe at the price of a bloody diamond ring.
I start checking housing costs.
I shortlist my preferred locations.
I draw up an imaginery guests' list, adding and deleting guests everytime.
I have cold feet just thinking about the preparations.
I have colder chills when estimating the eventual cost needed.
I grasp for air when thinking about going through the whole ceremony.
I visualise myself balding, with a dropping paunch hanging over boxer shorts, feeding baby from milk bottle.
I imagine working my ass off, servicing car loan, housing loan, renovation loan etc.

Hang me pls.

Since when does planning for nuptial bliss require such mammoth inproportions of costs and considerations? Before anything is even possible, I have to get my fair lady's nod of approval with a decent proposal and a 'becos-you-love-me' diamond ring. DIAMOND RING. Which idiot says diamonds are a woman's best friend?? ANd which MF bought the first diamond for proposal?? The western comsummerism ideology and influences are rotting away our Chinese values and traditions. We used to club women we like and juz drag them back to caves! (OK ok..this is sexist!) But why equate love to size/weight/price of diamonds?

*Dear ladies, spare a thought for your poor men. A piece of rock is still a rock, no matter how bling it is. Do you know hard we have to work and save to make you happy? U still wan tat bloody ring and think that I am a miser? Marry rich, dun marry love!


Then you have the exorbitant studio photos. I am all for capturing our youthful exteriors in the best flattering manner. But at a reasonable price. If you are ugly, YOU ARE UGLY. No amount of make-ups or fancy attires can conceal that fact. So pls be realistic! The part about 'every bride are the prettiest on their wedding day?' This onli applies to the 'already-pretty' ones. PLEASE People!! It's one of the oldest commercial lie!! Surely you know how GOOD you look when you stare into the mirorr everyday...oink oink...


Follow by the 'must-have' customary dinner at some 5 stars 'ripped-you-off' hotel, with 4-5 sets of attires to last the night (?!?). All this to show who? To show what? That the groom oh loves the bride so so much that no expenses should be spared? How many of those I invited (to show off we can afford 30-40 tables, then getting any TOMs or DICKS to come cos we realise we dun have enuff buddies to fill up all the tables...) are genuinely happy to busk in the occassion? Some idiots will curse their luck after receiving your 'red bomb', reluntantly prepare an ang pow (after justifying how much to put inside...) then come half-heartedly to the dinner, can't wait to get started on the food, complain about the selection/place/ambience/service (and still drink/eat cos they muz make their ang pows worth it), shake your hand hurriedly (cos they have to work tom/their kids are alone at home/they can't wait to fuck off) and feel relieved it's finally over.

The poor couple ended up with a very costly bill and very tired bodies.

And the complusory maritial home!...What sort of crazy prices are we looking at nowadays?? 400K for a resale 5-room HDB with 30K cash over evaluation?? So suddenly HDB flats have their foundations built with gold or diamonds now? We haben even start on renovation and furnishings yet!!

Is the decision to walk down the aisle, the ultimate proclaimation of love to the one and only OR a regrettable moment of folly? Isn't it suppose to be an embarkation of another wonderful journey of love? If all that matters is about starting life with the one you love, why all the hassle? Why all the material (pre)requisites? Why all that obscene frittering of hard-earned money? Is this the price to pay (pun fully intended!) for saying 'I do'?

Someone pls tie a dead knot on the ceiling, it's definitely cheaper planning my funeral.