Happiness indented.

I only wanna be happy.

Is it age? Mid life crisis? Broke? Painful knees?

I am rather grouchy these few weeks, sometimes pissed for no apparent reason. I am hating interaction with people...to entertain, to blend in, to be concerned, to explain myself. We are all so freaking different, how do we live our own lives the way we deem fit in the company of others? Will I be selfish? Self-centered? Can I juz be myself?

I can't.

I am caught in a 'catch 22 situation sometimes. How do I be the real me?

The real me might not be liked by many. The real me might inflict pain and hurt unwittingly. The real me might just be the biggest jerk around. But I am also not fake now...so what am I exactly?

I dunno. That's why I am staying home. Staying away from people if I can help it. Damn..I dun even know why am I living anymore.


Am I sick?