Being Psychogenic

Someone I met recently told me I am a 'pain' lover.

Something like a sucker for pain. Love situations that might or will instill pain. I thought about her words and kept reflecting on my life. (hmm...I muz have been REALLY negative in her presence that night...)

The fact she is a certified physiatrist is not too comforting. She almost convince me that I have a medical or worse..MENTAL condition. She is assertive but subtle. I was gently told to search within and find the source of my pain which might be buried deep somewhere, a long time ago.

How do someone love and live with pain?

I am definitely hopeful of better things to come...yet there is always this lingering doubt it will ever happen. I do get tired and sick of living but not to the extent of giving up on Life...yet. I wallow in self-pity quietly sometimes, but only the closest will see this weaker side. I did a wiki on 'pain' and was surprised on the different 'pain' classifications. And I found something that says...

psychogenic pain

- also called psychalgia or somatoform pain, is physical pain that is caused, increased, or prolonged by mental, emotional, or behavioral factors.

Interesting indeed. Mental, emotional and behavioral factors... either I book myself an appt with Woodbridge soon or start reading Buddhism scriptures.

I am so amused right now because she might be right afterall. Since I always thrive in adversities, maybe there is really something about 'liking pain' in there.

Ha. Hit me with your best shot.