In loving memory of Yanyan ~May 1998 - Apr 2010~

As always, lying comfy on my legs.

I heard about her condition and was prepared for the worst. Still, her eventual departure did not make my sadness any easier to take. I am never good with news of deaths, esp from closed ones. And Yan is a closed one. She is family.

I have always love dogs and I believe I will be a loving owner to one. But my mum's resistance to having a furry creature scrambling around the houshold, ceased all thoughts of becoming one. I have encountered a few...some pets of frens, some strays. They are always inquisitve, responsive and highly intelligent. And their eyes...always seem to be telling you something. I dunno if dogs are always best frens to man, but they are definitely faithful. They smell you, lick you and remember your kindness and love to them. And they always miss you, no matter how long you have been away. And it's maybe of this faithfulness I share and admire, I feel that dogs will always be loyal companions.

I met Yan somewhere in June 2005. She eyed my presence warily and treaded carefully around my feet. For all her receiving nature, she can never be too careful with strangers. But she is instinctively warm and receptive, her trusting personality overcame our initial awkwardness and soon after she was licking away at my palm. For a new boyfriend then, bought home to meet the gal's family, it was very unnerving but Yan gave me her first stamp of approval. Aunty must be pleased that her fav pet had endorsed this new member. And Yan indirectly helped foster the first pillars of the relationship that I would come to have with her lady master years after. I didn't had much interactions with dogs, let alone handle one. When Yan came over to lie on my legs for the first time, I decided that maybe, I should give her a head massage.

With her head on my calf, i started knealing Yan's head slowly, half wary of her liking towards this friendly gesture I adopted and regretting the choice I made already. Her eyes were half-closed, body was still. I stopped briefly and Yan opened her eyes, as if urging me to continue. I increased the intensity and she let out soft sighs of enjoyment. It must have been a queer sight, for a full-grown man to massage a small canine's head. My reputation as a 'man with nimble fingers' was cemented that night and my list of willing volunteers grew in the family. It was a great introduction and the rest, as always said, is history :)

I was to engaged her in this act of intimacy for the next 5 plus years, until recently. The last time I met her, she was frail and half of what I used to remembered her by. Yan is an aging 12 years O now. I knew her time was near and I knew she knew too. Her last struggle to greet me at the doorway will not be forgotten. I know she is going to a better place, and I know I will not be forgotten too.

Yan o...

Thank you for all the beautiful memories, thank you for being such a dearie, thank you for being there in some of my sweetest moments. I am sorry I haven't been able to accompany you till your last days and please pardon my absence in your times of needs. It has been my great fortune to have you graced my life with love and attention, and no matter where you are now, Korkor wish you much love and peace. Have a safe journey home, my little one.

you will be much missed.

love,

Korkor.