For He's A Jolly Good Fellow

5 days of drinks.

I was so drained that I rushed home right after the big Manchester soccer derby and snoozed. I dozed off infront of my lappie, went to bed with an aching neck at 11pm, got wakened by a freak dream.

And my eyes haben close till now...7 am. Fuck.

Someone asked me if I am happier nowadays, after being alone. And I replied '...not really, but at least I am not bothered....' Guess this is the standard doctrine of my everyday life currently...not being bothered and not bothering. The heart took awhile to recuperate, and while I am recharging, there's simply not enough 'power' within to get too intensive. So gymming stopped. Running never got started. Drinking becomes additive. And money is draining. Fast.

Health is going, tummy is growing and Life in general, is grouching.

Maybe I kinda allowed myself this period of hibernation to prepare for the months ahead, since impending situations are approaching...like the relocation of store, the amassing pressure from credit digits and taking on a new capacity at work. It's time to take the lead, show my mettle and face my shits. I will have to bury my greviances, slain the inner devil and roll up my slevees. It's payback time, and it's about time too.

Well, at least there's something to expect, even if not entirely desired. Maybe any sort of activity can kickstart my engine from its deep slumber and continue my journey again, in a more positve manner. I am doing much redundant stuffs now cos I dun feel like doing anything, which in return is making me doing every redundant things. Classic vicious cycle, isn't it? Ha, the irony of Life.

My soul is perhaps lonely, after having reciporcated attention from Love for so long. I wish to be stirred again and experience the tender, sweet loving from a special one. Without sounding like a desperado, Sam's heart is craving to be touched. With love, he can move mountains. Okay, maybe not MOUntains...but at least, he moves. 'To be moved, to move. TOYOTA.'  Not a bad tagline for a car commercial!

Blog more often, write more music, smoke lesser, sleep earlier, lose some weight...


Starts living, sam!