Tying the (dead) knot?

I cringe at the price of a bloody diamond ring.
I start checking housing costs.
I shortlist my preferred locations.
I draw up an imaginery guests' list, adding and deleting guests everytime.
I have cold feet just thinking about the preparations.
I have colder chills when estimating the eventual cost needed.
I grasp for air when thinking about going through the whole ceremony.
I visualise myself balding, with a dropping paunch hanging over boxer shorts, feeding baby from milk bottle.
I imagine working my ass off, servicing car loan, housing loan, renovation loan etc.

Hang me pls.

Since when does planning for nuptial bliss require such mammoth inproportions of costs and considerations? Before anything is even possible, I have to get my fair lady's nod of approval with a decent proposal and a 'becos-you-love-me' diamond ring. DIAMOND RING. Which idiot says diamonds are a woman's best friend?? ANd which MF bought the first diamond for proposal?? The western comsummerism ideology and influences are rotting away our Chinese values and traditions. We used to club women we like and juz drag them back to caves! (OK ok..this is sexist!) But why equate love to size/weight/price of diamonds?

*Dear ladies, spare a thought for your poor men. A piece of rock is still a rock, no matter how bling it is. Do you know hard we have to work and save to make you happy? U still wan tat bloody ring and think that I am a miser? Marry rich, dun marry love!


Then you have the exorbitant studio photos. I am all for capturing our youthful exteriors in the best flattering manner. But at a reasonable price. If you are ugly, YOU ARE UGLY. No amount of make-ups or fancy attires can conceal that fact. So pls be realistic! The part about 'every bride are the prettiest on their wedding day?' This onli applies to the 'already-pretty' ones. PLEASE People!! It's one of the oldest commercial lie!! Surely you know how GOOD you look when you stare into the mirorr everyday...oink oink...


Follow by the 'must-have' customary dinner at some 5 stars 'ripped-you-off' hotel, with 4-5 sets of attires to last the night (?!?). All this to show who? To show what? That the groom oh loves the bride so so much that no expenses should be spared? How many of those I invited (to show off we can afford 30-40 tables, then getting any TOMs or DICKS to come cos we realise we dun have enuff buddies to fill up all the tables...) are genuinely happy to busk in the occassion? Some idiots will curse their luck after receiving your 'red bomb', reluntantly prepare an ang pow (after justifying how much to put inside...) then come half-heartedly to the dinner, can't wait to get started on the food, complain about the selection/place/ambience/service (and still drink/eat cos they muz make their ang pows worth it), shake your hand hurriedly (cos they have to work tom/their kids are alone at home/they can't wait to fuck off) and feel relieved it's finally over.

The poor couple ended up with a very costly bill and very tired bodies.

And the complusory maritial home!...What sort of crazy prices are we looking at nowadays?? 400K for a resale 5-room HDB with 30K cash over evaluation?? So suddenly HDB flats have their foundations built with gold or diamonds now? We haben even start on renovation and furnishings yet!!

Is the decision to walk down the aisle, the ultimate proclaimation of love to the one and only OR a regrettable moment of folly? Isn't it suppose to be an embarkation of another wonderful journey of love? If all that matters is about starting life with the one you love, why all the hassle? Why all the material (pre)requisites? Why all that obscene frittering of hard-earned money? Is this the price to pay (pun fully intended!) for saying 'I do'?

Someone pls tie a dead knot on the ceiling, it's definitely cheaper planning my funeral.

California Dreaming~

I love dreams.

In my dreams, I will be tall, rich, drives a sports car, have flawless skin, boss of a successful music production company, one beautiful wife and 2 beautiful kids... simply wonderful!

Until the alarm rings to wake me from the dreams every morning, Damnz.

There are no rules, no regulations, no justification. I am anybody I wanna be, I can do anything I want. I am everything which I am NOT in the real world. I am not a dreamer, cos I know how much salt I am worth to be deserving of all those things. I didn't ask for it, I could't ask for more...this is my life, this is me, I am Sam.

Who wants to keep on dreaming?

Not me.

As time goes by.

You move slower.
You get tired easier.
You have aching back or neck.
Your idols are younger than you.
You seldom behave like a free spirit.
You start to hang around quieter places.
You appreciate normality, familiarity and stability.
Your mum stops bugging you to come home early.
You prefer massive paychecks than massive muscles.
You start playing soccer on PS3 instead of on the pitch.
Your age starts sharing same figures with your waistline.
You have problem connecting/understanding young people.
You no longer cringe when younger ones call you 'Uncle/Aunty.'
You wonder how it's like to have a child that looks like yourself.
You stand out like a sore thumb among married frens and their children.


You are getting old.

When 2 becomes 1

Love is amazing.

1. Love makes you fat cos you have no time dun wanna exercise.
2. Love makes your paycheck insufficient for her.
3. Love fills up your empty inbox with sweet-nothings.
4. Love gives you a legitimate reason to buy/do/plan/say nice and sweet things.
5. Love makes you believe blindly that you are the most talented/handsome/hunky/romantic dude on earth.
6. Love makes you childish young.
7. Love makes you feel like a normal complete man.
8. Love makes silliness/stupidity/acting cute/inexplicable behaviour unacceptable to yourself only.
9. Love makes you think wat to write for pt.10, 11, 12... Refer to pt. 9.
10.


Love is amazing.

In a happy nutshell.

So...

Happiness must have breed 'contempt' of writing, as I make a stuttering start to make any decent postings for the new year. Much as I love stringing words to make my tots visible, I am not complaining! Well...I can't find any category to slot in any happy posts anyway, since most of them are collections of depression, disgust and disdain.

I feel the urge to constructively utilize my time for 2010, and spending 10 days not making any initiation is playing on my guilt. Maybe it's the age, maybe I am looking for the next phase of Life, I hope to consciously live my life fully and stop wasting time indulging in thrice-weekly drinking sessions, sizing up the tummy OR procrastinating my plans. Time REALLY feel shorter this year and there are still so many stuffs I haben experience. Someone told me that inspiring Nike's motto 'Juz do it!' is not good enough. We should 'Do it now!'

In summary, I am feeling loved again and maybe slowly...this blog will be a celebration of love, happiness and achievements.

Till then amigos, tata ;)

A Stroke of Fate.

I got a call from her yesterday. Very abrupt, very sudden.

I was in the midst of a conversation and my mobile rang. I took 3 secs to regain my composure and 2 secs to spring into action. I took my fone, moved hastily to a quiet corner and picked up the call. Her voice was quivering. She muz have been crying.

'Ah Ning O , ah yan got a stroke...*sob *sob..do you wanna come and see her? *sob*sob..

*Ah yan is the beloved pet dog of the Tan's family. 11 yrs and counting.

I was stunned momentarily. Stroke? who? okay. Ah yan. Ok. Are you ok? No? Why did u call me?......? Questions flew and my cells are forced to conceive answers and pieced together a rational conclusion. And I couldn't. She called. My love juz called. And our beloved dog might be dying. Trying to speculate 'why she called' to realising 'the dog might be dying' in a matter of mins is a serious test of emotional equilibrium. I promised to go her place, hung up the call, finished up my drink and jumped into a cab. I was on my way.

'What to do when I see her?'
'What to say when I see her?'
'What to say to her family?'
'What to say to her dog?'

Intense pondering muz have debilitated me and I fell asleep in the cab. I woke up juz in time to stop and alight the cab, only to realise I was 10 lamp posts away from her block (Fuck me). I cursed under my alcohol-tainted breath, walked briskly towards the building, took the lift and arrived at her doorstep.

I hesitated, and called her.

'I am outside your door.'

She looked the same as the last time I saw her. Abt 6 months back. Still beautiful. Ah Yan struggled to bring herself to her feet to welcome me when I saw her. She raised her head and glanced towards my direction, tail wagging weakly. I called her name and squatted right infront. She couldn't move any closer. Her left limbs have failed her. It was a painful sight. But at least my presence jolted some reaction. I was in a loss. I cradled her and stroked her soft, snowy fur. I think she still rems me. I think she knows I haven't been around for awhile. I fear this is our last few encounters.

'Thank you, Ah Yan... for letting me be there, for giving me a reason to be there, for me to see her once more. It's not my desired scenario, to appear under such circumstance. Please hang on awhile more. You will definitely be missed.'

What now?