How are you?

Maybe I sounded harsh when I said it. Maybe I said it to hurt you. Maybe I am as hurt as you.

It has been some time since I have any updates of you. I dun keep in touch with your frens, you dun leave traces in FB and I dun bump into you by chance. I still check up on you thru whatever means I can and I do want to know how you are getting on. Less those bits of fotos that I have seen, I dunno what is keeping you busy right now. Sometimes I wish there will be an impromptu call from you, for whatever reasons. Then again, I told you to get out of my life totally. I felt I had to say so...but it doean't mean I mean it totally.

I have learnt to live without you. It's not easy and I still can't control the pangs of sadness swelling inside whenever I think of you. I can't be like this if I want to move on, especially when I know I HAVE to move on. I dun have a choice for us.

The day when I remember I was missing you, will be the day I make peace with my heart. It saddens me to know this day will eventually comes... when you can no longer cause anymore sadness. It is a struggle dealing with this dilemna, a struggle to keep memories of you for awhile longer, a struggle to keep you in or out of consciousness. In one of my drunken stupor, I heard myself calling your name. My head can conceals, but my heart don't denies.

Till then, I am missing you indefinitely. And I hope you are happy.