Alone again...naturally.

Another puff, another sip....as I drink myself to sleep.

Another solitary drinking night again, puffing again on those loyal ciggies. Been 8 years plus, since I was alone...and here I am now, very alone, very lonely once again. Maybe suddenly Time is aplenty, and I hav too little things to do. No one else to bother about where I am, wat I am doing now or who am I with. Only me and me. It's so unfamiliar.

I think I am doing fine, though no one understand my state of mind at this moment. The sadness is not really that kinda sadness. I would love to have someone to talk to and stick by me now, but I guess...no one knows me better than myself. My ipoh 'fren' might even think I am a freak?!?! (okay..no more ttyl!!) I shall stop explaining myself, juz let time heals me slowly. I shall be myself again. Those who know Sam, no explaination needed. For those who dun, why bother explaining anyway?

The fotos are still all around the room, even on my lappie's wallpaper. Though I am looking at them more often now, they juz feel so remote. How ironic! To think I never even bother to look at them more than a glance before. Now all the pieces of us felt more like 'ornaments' and 'accessories'. They might stay awhile more, but they might never evoke the same feelings again.

I am tired..another glass or two and the mind will be goggy and there goes another night. What do Fate have in store for me? Standing at the mid point of my life, I never felt more lost...unsure of myself than now. Yet the calling of a brand new chapter does arouses some excitment! An aries will be an aries I guess. Always brave, alway raring to go again! Hurt and disappointments are temporary but the smell of victory is wat makes our kind go on and on and on....

I will survive. Time will tell.