Seeing is not Believing

I wonder if 'sight' should be included into one of the 'sins' of men.

The ability to see is so wonderful and so So SO over-rated. As much as giving me beautiful and memorable visuals, it also impairs my rationale and judgement sometimes.

Though I always try to look beyond 'face-value' when dealing with people or situations, I am afraid I am juz as guilty to form an immediate perception on sight. It will only be much later before the brain starts to filter the visual information and comes to a conclusion.

Why?

Sometimes first impressions are already so etched within, it's impossible to have a logical or sensible verdict. It's easy when it's pleasing on the eyes...beautiful places, beautiful cars, beautiful people or beautiful situations. Somehow or rather, the human brain is programmed to receive these informations with open arms. And we can get really upset/affected/disgusted when we PERCEIVE any others that doesn't falls into the 'beautiful' category. We withdraw, critisize or shun those we think are less deserving of our appreciation/admiration.

Is it because we are insecure? That deep down inside us, we know and fear that the very same ugly sightings can happen to us? Or we falsely believe that we will always be exempted from such negative judgements? So we judge first before we can be judged?

Not everyone or everything have the good fortune of being beautiful. But they can be beautiful too if we look deeper. Beautiful situations/people/places are not a norm. They are a 'bonus'. Not having any is not a curse, it's juz Life. And Life does have her imperfections sometimes.

Without having the lesser, how to determine the better? Chew on this.

p/s: Will it be easier if we all can't see?

Transitional existence

We are not meant to live forever. So what should we do while we are alive?

Many a times, I questioned myself about the significance of my existence. I am not superman, I can't change the world, damn I dun really know what I should be doing. I see the functionalities of a mobile phone, a digi cam or a car. They existed to serve our needs, I existed to do what?

Should I let myself live...and aged, then die off like so many of us? On my own, I am so insubstantial...the economy won't crash without me tom, no one's world would stop if I am gone isn't it?

I wanna be more involved somehow. By affecting, influencing or inspiring people around me. I wanna penetrate into Life, be involved with people and touched them. I dun wanna live a life studying, earning money and working my butt off. We will die someday, and for all the condos, money, stocks and shit u can have....they dun matter anymore when we r dead rite?

This world can definitely make do with more Lee Kuan Yews, Bill Gates or Einsteins. They dun juz live. They make a bloody difference. They dun work for money, they live for dreams. They won't live forever but their legacies will.

And I want to be like them.

Looking ahead

Things are slowly looking up.

I finally managed to get a stranglehold of my messy finances and breathe a little easier. Some simple plans are in the pipelines and for once... I have some realistic goals to work upon. Maybe taking on the oncoming challenges as a lone ranger does suit me better, because there is lesser pressure with decreased commitments and responsibilties.

I am not expecting a major over-haul of my lifestyle but the next 6 months could prove to be eventful and rewarding. When I am answerable only to myself (maybe my mum too), I can make bolder decisions and live the life I always wanted. I am not any happier right now, but at least I am not bothered. The only concern might be the detrimental effect of a failed relationship in regards to my response to Love in the long run. We shall see.

Small steps are all I can take right now, but with a slight glimspe of light beckoning, I know I am on the right path. And hopefully I am able to finish what I started out to achieve at the start of 2009 and starts 2010 on a brand new chapter. Once I clear the biggest obstacle, I am going to embark on my journey of self-gratification in endorsing the 'carpe diem' ideology.

Wait for me.

Be inspired.

You know you are reading something very true and inspirational when somewhere inside you stirred. Life, Love and Death are the 3 of the 4 best 'mentors' we can ever have during the course of a lifetime, if we pay enough attention. (The last one being 'Time'...)

I am still searching for the reasons of my existence. Searching because Life is ever-evolving and change is constant. One thing I knew, I came about because of Love, Life gave me an opportunity to search, Time will bring me to the end when Death will provide me with all the answers. Everyone of us will go through the same process, definitely not in the same manner and length.

I once told a suicide survivor that there is no hurry to die, because we all will eventually. I do not need to live forever, I need to be alive once.

Going Solo.

Is there something such as a perfect life?

Everyday, I hear stories of people from all walks of Life. Disillusionment, discontentment, poverty, grief, social pressure, working stress, love issues are some of the most common complaints. Some are bothered by one, some...are caught in most of them.

I had my darker days too.

Days when nothing seems right, days when I am lost in depression...days when I tot I will never see the light again. I was wrong. Every single time. Some periods lasted longer than others, some seemed like forever. But they all ended somehow. The sun really do rises everyday. And I realised maybe things are not always as bad as they seem. But the greater issue lies NOt in the problems themselves but the way we handle those problems. And since they almost always hit us simultaneaously, we are caught out of solutions. The moment we realises there is no quick fix in Life and break down the whole lump of it, working on untying knot by knot in this big web of unhappiness....they WILL be fixed.

Evolution sharpened the sensitivity of men and moulded our needs in accordance to current times. Coupled with modern advancements, the invasion of emotional anguish on our well-beings are superseding simple happiness. It's not difficult to be happy. Being happy is definitely an option....we only need to know HOW to choose that option.

I chose Happiness over anything else a long time ago, that's why I am going solo. I want to be happy, I want her to be happy....and since we can't be happy together, then we have to be happy on our own. Being happy alone is deserving, being happy together is a bonus. Happiness is a positive emotion and Love should be positively engaging. When neither is apparent, then we must choose our options.



I am not giving up on Love. I am just giving my Love an option to be happy.

Somtimes it's beyond us.

It's has been a long, memorable 5 yrs. We been thru too much together for all the 'thank you', 'sorry' and 'take care'...but if u happen to read this...thank you for everything and please take good care of yourself.

It wasn't an easy decision to make and one of us have to do it. I thanked God for giving us strength to face it together one last time. For all the sadness we are feeling, I believe things will be fine for us. And the day will comes when we will be blessed again.

If I am going to choose loving you all over again, I wouldn't have do it any differently. If you were only meant to be temporal, then it's all I ask for.

For one last time...my Baobei, I love you.

As long as you are happy.

Jimmy wakes up and repeats what he do everyday. He is rich, have a degree but he dun work. He is the envy of many, scorned by some. As long as he is happy.

Jarco wanna move to another job that will pay him more. Even though there is not much prospect in that designation, he can earn loads and sky's the limit. As long as he is happy.

Aunt Jady has everything....Money, status, family. Almost. She wants to be happy.

Jervon is young, striving and materialistic. She can derive much happiness from her job, her shopping sprees and all her blings. She think she is happy.

Uncle Jacky is old and alone. He is a taxi-driver and he is broke. He gambles on 4D and toto and he prays he will strike everytime. Sometimes he does and it makes him happy.

Jamie earns decent dough but steeped in debts. But he bought himself 2 new comfortable pillows and a nice quilt. He is happy.

as he is typing now.



'Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.' ~ George Burns