Introspection

Things go wrong. Screw-ups. Cheated. Failed relationships. Sorry states etc. etc...

When unfortunate stuffs happen one time too many, it's a case of misfortune, victimisation or just plain bad luck?

Everyone of us will have our share of ups and downs, that's Life. But if history keeps repeating itself and we keep finding ourselves in bad situations again and again, I think we need to take a better look at ourselves and reflect. Maybe you are too stubborn everytime, maybe you are too much of a careless risk-taker, maybe you are too insistent in your own beliefs, maybe you are too temperamental, maybe you are too naive...maybe maybe maybe...

Maybe you have a problem.

We are uniquely different, with strengths and flaws aplenty. And differences can complement or breeds friction. I believe we should have adequate self-reflection from time to time and ask ourselves if a problem arises due to external factors or self-instigated. With the capacity to exercise introspection and the willingness to learn and discover more about ourselves on our fundamental natures, essences and beliefs, we can moderate the probability of events turning out for the worse. It requires effort, conscious deliberation and an awareness for consequential actions to minimise or resolve conflicts and undesirable situations.

You are the master of your own destiny and you live with the consequences of your choices. You are what you want to be and no one owns you a living. Instead of asking/blaming/whinning why bad situations seem to fancy you, maybe you should wonder why it is always you and not anyone else.

Stop being a victim to yourself.

Self-discovery

Small indulgences which I took for granted before, are unaffordable now and maybe, soon to be forgotton. It takes some getting used to, with shifting perspectives on Life.

Hobbies are being negotiated for new responsibilities and personal pleasures/habits are being compromised. I am conscious that living a married life, requires a certain degree of sacrifice, understanding and acceptance. There's no more place for individualism and the general well-being of the family must be considered. My ideology of self has since fallen down the pecking order of priorities. I am not only adapting to my new role, I am also redefining the value of self and seeking my identity in this current capacity.

First and foremost, I wanna be happy. I always believe this is wat everyone deserves, and we have a choice to be so. Every action or decision should sustain, if not elevate happiness for a better well-being. Substantial sensibility and responsibility are needed to attain appropriate action/decision in achieving tat. Ironically, to be happy with self also means you have to be happy with others and vice versa. In summary, 'being happy' is not only an individual act of intent. It is a concerted effort of those involved, be it a couple, a family or a work force.

But how do we make 2 unique individuals, with different personality/preference, happy together? Throw in 2-3 more characters and the situation gets even more feisty. I am learning in this steep curve of discovery tat this is an extremely challenging process. Though there is no idiot's guide in getting around the complexities of human relationship other than being hands on, it's not exactly rocket science either. I personally feel, the baseline is to have the willingness to make better and exercise the flexibility to adopt or adapt. Most importantly, this sentiment has to be mutual. It's futile when only one party is catering, while the other juz receive; it takes 2 to tango.

It's definitely a delicate task finding common ground to tread on, in the midst of assorted personalities. I am trying my very best to accomodate without losing my own identity. Co-existence requires mutual respect, tolerance and understanding. It is also a journey of discovery to know yourself and each other better.

And hopefully, with happiness as the icing on the cake.