Life, getting to know the unknown.

9 mths ago, I wouldn't have know the life I am having now.
9 mths from now, I am going to be a father.

Life, you juz never know where the next turn is going to bring you.

We all have our dreams, expectations and aspirations. And we have our doubts, fears and worries. How are all these factors going to affect us? How much are they going to drive or hinder us? How much do you need to take a step into the unknown?

We walk on nonetheless, making choices along the way. We live to find out, if tat choice is appropriate or regrettable...and we will walk on again, making choices once more. It's doesn't matter if it's a right or wrong decision, it's about making A DECISION. Tat's how we find out, tat's how we grow, tat's how memories are formed, tat's how lessons are learned.

Why fear, if all of us will reach the end eventually? Life is about making choices, getting to know the unknown. Why wait till it's too late, when the eventual end comes and you no longer have choices anymore?

Live to regret or regret to live?
I choose the former.

Regretting to live is a lifetime of sadness. Living to regret will only wisen you up to making better decision the next time. Regrets are bound to be aplenty for everyone of us. If only we had known earlier, no one will be making mistakes anymore. Then Life will not be Life, Life will juz be a prefixed routine in perfect working order. Life will be safe and mundane. No more expectations, beautiful memories, painful lessons, happiness or sadness. Life will be so dead.

If you are hesitant in comtemplating your next move, take a leap of faith. Maybe say a slient prayer but be brave to take tat step. Much as it could be a potentially regrettable episode, it could also be the best move you make your whole life. This unique journey of living, with twists and turns is exactly wat living is all about.

Everyone loves the perfect fairytale story. Even if ours are less than perfect along the way, we are still entitled to that beautiful fairytale ending.

And you gotta make tat 1st step.

Believing the belief.

Life muz be a perpectual prankster with wicked humour to boot.
How else can I explain the quick succession of difficulties, right after every relief arrives?

I dun hold great ambition or attempt lofy achievement. I am juz a normal man, trying to live a normal life in a normal manner...with my best efforts.

The events I am going through now will not stand in good stead with most. I have defy most conventional practices in my pursuit of Love and Happiness. I have been rendered irrational, nonchalant to social acceptance and lost. No one will understand the faith and belief I hold in my insistence to keep walking this journey. It's not easy and you dun need a genius to attest to that.

But it's a journey never meant for the weak-willed anyway. And I am brave, Love will keep me going.

It's nothing wrong to judge, to shun away, to criticise. It's juz too easy to do all that. And I do not need endorsers to tell me I am right. I made a choice and I am standing by it. And watever comes, so be it. If Life decided to fire me her best shot, I will try my best to return serve. And I will die trying.

If there's one belief that has never waiver all these years, it is Love. Love makes me happy and sad. Love makes me feel alive and worse than death. Love offers much and steals everything. Love makes me complete. Love will not fail me. And I found her.

She will be my wife and the mother of my child. Period.

Sometimes you juz gotta believe. Even when odds are stacked against you. Then you won't juz have a life.

You live it.

Life revisited

Life could have been different. But then again, Life is already different.

Sometimes we are juz prisoners of our own dreams and ideals, chained down by the chase for perfection. the younger you are, the harder you chase...the older you become, the further your dreams get. You sober up eventually, older but none the wiser and Life still kick your butt as always.

Dreams do come true, and fairytales do exist. The only problem is there are simply too many of us, too different and unique as a single individual to be chasing the same thing. Dreams are like fingerprints, available to all but special only to you. One man's dream might juz be another's nightmare.

Thus, idealism is a lonely affair.


Living can be happier with alit contentment, acceptance and realisation. Reality has to be buffered in. Perhaps, only fools can dream all day long.  

But Life suffer no fools. Sooner or later, we all submit to her rules.

Sigh.

Another day, another year.

I hardly mention anything about this particular day here. Maybe the novelty of celebrations has worn off...or maybe some events aren't worth mentioning anymore. Anyway it's juz another day and Life goes on.

Phyiscally, I do feel MUCH older..hip-twisting and back breaking maneuvers had long been relegated to memories. I lost much weight though, and it feels weird to be wearing pants or shorts which have deserted me years back. There is still as much angst, albeit with better restrain. Other than thinner hair, prominent crows' feet and softer muscles, nothing change. I am still very much me.

Generally, I feel fine. And I have her, which makes me happy.

Ideally, I wish Life could have been closer to expectation...sigh. Tat's Life.

Duh.

Happy B'day Sam.