Sometimes you juz gotta believe.

An unknown preposition never deters me.

I tend to follow my heart more eagerly than my head most of the time, and ignore all conformoties to the tried and tested. Impractical? Checked. Idealistic? Checked too. Foolish? hmm..maybe double checked.

But you know wat, whenever I choose heart over head, I feel light and free. There are no restrictions, there is no precedence to guide, you break away from justification and do juz wat you deem fit. And you are happy, genuinely happy. Becos you live evey moment as if it's your last, without knowing wat is going to happen to you. You are not binded by the chains of practicality, logicality and rationality.

Free-spirit, like a bird. Totally liberation. You choose whoever matters to be in your niche circle, and suddenly the world is less congested, with alot more space to roam. Look at me flying in the vast sky!

So what if I am stop by reality checks? So what if work has to go on to put food on the table? So what if the rest of the world disagree with me? So what? I will take flight when I am ready again, raring to go one more time. There are too many excuses not to, too much fear, too much skeptism and cynicism, too generalised...conformers are juz like one big, ugly patch of grey sky. But I wanna be that ray of light, piercing through their safe and dull clouds...and show them that Life can be magical if you dare to dream.

Even if it's only for awhile, I'll be glad that I was ever the brightest star in my imaginary heaven.

Alive and kicking.

I took a self-proclaimed hiatus from this virtual realm cos Life is too occupied with love to be penning down tots. I am simply enjoying every breathing moment living a life.

But I know I will come back somehow, when the mind gets laden with over-flown tots again.

2 days away from 2011, 4 days away from a new lair, and a whole head of anticipations. I am standing on the verge of 2010, waiting to cross over to the new year. The current year has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions...I am thankful I am going to end it on a high and carry forward the remnants to kickstart the next year. Looking back, the only highlight was to be found by Love again...and wat sweet, magical love indeed! If there was a missing piece of jigsaw in my life before, I have completed the entire picture now. The next phase is about casting this picture into a beautiful hand-crafted frame to hang. And last. Well, I guess that spearheads my resolution for 2011.

Time is going to be such a precious entity, I can't assure when am I going to touch base again. But Sam mostly comes here when he is blue, so if he is missing in action, be happy for him.

;) Happy 2011.

Murphy is lurking.

In retrospect, I question the sensibility of some of my actions which turn awry.

The lesson learnt here is, no matter how much you plan or how righteous your motives are, things CAN go very wrong. Thankfully, nothing catastrophic happen to prevent correction of an unfortunate incident. Truth be told, no matter how diverse people are, there are still certain basic moral values/truths to ascertain. I can't fault the different approaches, since everyone rationalize and act differently. But I definitely can challenge the intentions of a done deed. Maybe I dun benefit from a kind, thoughtful gesture but at least there isn't any malice intended.

I think as long as my conscience is clear, I will stand by my actions, no matter the outcome.

Pawns of Life.

End of the day, we are juz one of Life's pawns.

My sister juz had a miscarriage yesterday. I can imagine her heartache after years of trying to have a baby..my consoling words did nothing to mend her broken heart. She was devastated. That's life, and I only pray she will be strong enuff to get over this ordeal.

Everyone has their story, and everyone is trying damn hard to live their lives. Along the way, if we have more blessings than not, we should be thankful. We can't ask for more, we can't dictate wat's going to happen, we will never know wat the future holds.

Life is not easy. Living is tough. And I cherish everyday as it comes.

I might be gone tomorrow and that's it. Finito. Adios. Thank you for coming and next! No hard feelings but your time is up...this is the sequence and you are the next in queue. All of us are given a time frame, with various tasks and roles to fulfil...hopefully some beautiful titbits sandwiched in between, with some unforgettable memories to savour. When you finally get to understand and accept that the end will eventually comes, you juz make the best out of your available time. Nothing is too daunting to break you anymore, nothing is too insurmountable to overcome, nothing is impossible. Why fear? What can be worse than Death, if Death itself is already a confirmed entity? We all die someday and we dun have to make it faster.

Face Life, for she has already told you Death will be waiting. Only the journey ahead are filled with unknown prepositions, but the end is clear, isn't it? Face it and keep walking, for your time is not up yet. Face it and live to the fullest of your given time.

You are given one life. Make it the lifetime you desire. At least when you look back, you did lived before.

Time.

默守相思难又难，
念念之苦满心堂，
盼日等到望明月，
爱佳永伴君身旁。

Time is heartless.

She is also impartial to whatever is happening around her. She juz go about her own pace, consistently, never missing a beat. We are all at her mercy, and she is deaf to all our pleas. She will juz go on and on, while we will follow. Every single entity and element have to abide to her pace, no more no less. Love her or loathe her, she doesn't care, for she has never been tainted by emotions. But she is wise...very wise indeed. She has a memory more far-stretched than you can imagine, and a deady accuracy for the future. She will tell you eventually when she has to...until then, you can only wait.

You can't fight Time and you can never win. For Time never stop, with or without you.

Time never needed anyone, we all need her instead. But she will never care.

Counting down 2010.

It's the time of the year when people pine for bonuses, yearn for a grand finale or holidays, or are simply excited about Xmaz and the ushering of the New year.

For me...I cultivated the habit of recollecting moments from the entire year, as I ponder if it is a fulfilled or wasted one.

2010 was a year of milestones. The demise of a relationship, the struggle between reality and ideals, the relocation of workplace, the tedious diffusion of unhappiness and anger, the unforseen promotion, the new-found responsibility and of cos, when I met you.

The year was anticipated to end on a quiet whimper until you came along and become the icing on the cake. At this very moment as I am writing this, I am still counting my blessings for each day spent with you. For all the little details, places, people that directly or indirectly connected to us, it's strange how we missed meeting each other until now. I would not have believe another person to be so effortlessly like-minded, if Fate didn't allow us tat chance. After weeks of logical/illogical reasoning, I finally gave up.

The time came, and here we are now. And I am thankful to have you make Life more beautiful.

Today, I breathe an air of happy defiance, for your existence totally endorsed the inner me that was deemed too wayward for the mainstream. Having you beside, put more leaps into my steps, sharpen my resolutions on Life and fill my heart with warmth. With you to embrace the love I am always craving for, I am finally at peace with the angst that shadowed me for years. With each closer steps to each other and another step ahead together, we are going to embark on the final journey. Truth be told, it's not going to be easy...but I believe the magical powers of Love is going to see us through.

Everything about you juz encapsulate me in this realm of fairyland. You are the tinkerbell in my Peter Pan's world, and we will fly as high as the sky will allow us. Together, we will witness the passing of Time...and dwell in our neverending story of fairytales.

Be alone no more my love, for my heart is yours to keep. Let our journey begins.

Home.

Do a google on the meaning of 'home' and you will be amazed there is over 20 definitions on this four-letter word.

Home. Wat's your definition?

The same word was mentioned twice to me by 2 different person and how contrasting was the empathy being felt. One was brutishly thrusted to my ears and indignantly shouted out 'This is my home! And You dun do as you like in my house!!" The other, was sweetly uttered while holding my hand and looking tenderly at me...'I have found my home.."

How the same word can aroused such opposing sentiments...

Home to me, is the place where love dwells...the place where loved ones gather...the place where you feel love, is being loved and find love. Home is the 1st place you wanna go back to nurse yourself, to busk in tender affections and the last place to shelter you, when all else goes wrong. Home is where your mind, heart, soul and body can be at complete ease, knowing that in this little domain, only closest ones can come in. Home is about acceptance and forgiveness, where no one's pride, ego, status is greater than the other...where only familar comfortability beckons, while the harshness of reality beats outside. Home is where you find your feet, to stand up everytime you fall, to recharge before returning to the world with renewed vigor. Home will always be the 'last man standing', impartial to all criticisms, judgements and biases.

For home is an emotional connection, rather than a phyiscal presence devoid of love, care and concern. No amount of fancy gadgets, furnishings and thick blankets can replace the warmth of a loving heart.

And home is you. Thank you for finding your home in me too.

*hugs*

GIve me some kisses and hugs tonight.

I feel terribly lonely.

On a cold night like now, even the warmth of the blanket cover can't do much to a sadden heart. Transience is for the ignorance, while the conscious ones lie awaken. Fatigue becomes a familiar companion, with the soul needing a desperate overhaul. It's on nights like this when the living is no different from the dead, breathing through an empty shell of a body. You search for a routine to hide behind but yet the mind wanders. When getting lost is no longer a phyiscal occurrence, rationale grinds to a stop.

Breathe, cos that's the only thing you can still do.

Breathe.

Words from my soul.

"Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now,

...lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that

sometimes do you good.

His life may also have much sadness and difficulty,

that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise,

he would never have been able to find these words" ~ Anon

Me against the world.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

The unfold of events in a single night will dampen even the strong. But not me. It only serve to reinforce my belief that no one is more dependable in this world other than yourself. With the deed done, I expired my tolerance for the need to live under the so-called 'acceptable' rules of the mainstream.

Hell with you, fuckers! Stop telling me your perceived value of rite and wrong! This is my own life!!

With the seeds sown, there's no turning back. I wouldn't planted my own seeds of destruction if I wasn't certain about wat I wanna do for myself. From now onwards, I couldn't care less about anything or anyone else but her. Hit me with your best shot. The day I stand again, I will return u many times the dosage, I swear my life on it.

Whoever is not with me, fuck off and leave me alone.

Our 1st times.

I think this is the sweetest part where every couples will get to experience.

The 1st kiss.
The 1st hug.
The 1st ....

But not when it's the 1st arguement/quarrel/dispute.

I finally have a slight taste of my darling's self-proclaimed temperament and I muz say I was alit taken aback. I still can't figure out what I said along the way to ingnite her fire and made her snap. Hmm. Maybe not all my jokes are funny and my light-hearted rebutts rubbed her the wrong way.

I am really joking. And I think you read me wrongly. Why would I want to intentionally piss u off lerrr?

It lead me to wonder when is it going to be my turn? And will you pacify me juz like the way I am pacifying you now? Hmmmm.